Deep Thoughts By Dog

(Photo: Splash News Online)

American bounty hunter and bail bondsman Duane ‘Dog’ Chapman gave an interview with Esquire that could yield a book of quotes to stand alongside the best of them. Among the accumulated wisdom the 55 year-old shares are:

-“My grandfather told me years ago, “Watch your fantasies, because you’re the kind of person who will live them.”

-“Selling a vacuum cleaner to a farmer is like trying to sell the devil a match.”

-“The closest thing to hell on earth is prison. It’s the worst experience I’ve ever had in my life. Besides death.”

-“When I look in the mirror, I’d rather be studly than sexy. Matt Lauer can be sexy. I’ll be studly.”

-“I speak to animals a lot. Crows will come to me. I’m like that.”

-“We as men need to make sure our women are fully satisfied. I went to a marriage counselor one time — I was young, she was beautiful — and I told her, “I just stay on longer because I want the girl to get off first, and then I want to touch them and love them.” Within two weeks, I was screwing the sex therapist, right? No — this is a true story!”

-“If I could bring my daughter back, I’d hold a snuff can over a bear’s ass for five years in a Texas prison.”

Chapman — who was a gang member with 18 convictions for armed robbery, which he insists he’s innocent of — launched his reality show Dog the Bounty Hunter in August, 2004 .

5 thoughts on “Deep Thoughts By Dog

  1. Thoreau once penned “Hell is People” Like the first idiot who said Dog and family were racists!! Maybe you are fella. Ever think of that? Dog, you just keep on what you’re doing!! You’re great!!!

  2. question – i see that duane is a spiritual man – i wonder why he uses so much profanity? and beth too. it takes away from this “praying, sturdy family man’s” image. i would sure have more respect for him if he at least “attempted” to replace his vulgarity. but i love them anyway and will continue to watch. ps – did beth have a breast reduction and lose weight? 04/29/09

  3. Note. In the new episodes, Dog no longer uses profanity. It is however the language of the street. Saying “please”
    does not work on felons. Officers often curse too. Life is not black and white. No on breast reduction and she
    has been seen daily in a gym with a trainer.

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